Daily Log December 22, 2023 - Present
December 23, 2023
Derek was released from jail. No attempts for contact from either Derek or I. On December 19th I had exchanged emails with my lawyer in regards to Christmas and visitation, my lawyer had been contacted by Derek's lawyer to set up a plan. I agreed that the kids should be able to see Derek on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas and I was open to making that happen. No updates or plans were made on Derek's end of things up until this day.
December 24, 2023
No attempts for contact from either Derek or I. Derek's father texted me to try to make a plan to have Derek see the kids today or tomorrow. I have had many unpleasant interactions with his father over the last year and have made it clear I was not comfortable using him as the middle man between Derek and I. Alan made claims in this texts that Derek was not allowed to have contact with me. This is untrue and I forwarded him the emails I exchanged with Derek's probation officer that stated that contact between Derek and I was not limited. He then advised that I have my lawyer speak to his lawyer, which I had done but received no updates on a plan for a visit. Derek has made many comments to me in the past that he has not and does not want his father involved when it comes to making decisions for his children and I understand and feel his concerns which adds to my reasoning for not wanting to continue to rely on Alan when it comes to planning visits.
Saturday, February 24, 2024
Sunday, February 25, 2024
Spent a quiet day at home with the kids prepping for school to begin again after having the last week off. We made home made pizza for dinner. I asked Derek for 30$ so I could get a bag of dog food for his dogs, he told me no claiming that he has given me enough money (see Financial Log).
Monday, February 26, 2024
Brought Carson to school. Derek texted me to tell me about the passing of his previous PO and that he picked up a shift today, after telling me yesterday that he was off and would be able to visit the kids. He made no attempt to see them before or after his shift today. Did not try to call or text them either.
Tuesday, February 27, 2024
I brought Carson to school. Woke up to a text from Derek that said he is off tomorrow. No plans have been made yet. He often updates me about his schedule, but makes no attempt to create any plans to see the kids.
Stopped at Pizza Chef and got a pizza from Derek for Dinner. He told Carson "If mom lets me, I'll pick you up for school in the morning."
Trey came over after the kids went to bed and stayed the night.
Wednesday, February 28, 2024
Last day of ski runners. Derek didn't show up to bring Carson to school. I was cut from my shift at work. Baked bread with the kids. I texted Derek at 10pm and asked him if he would bring Carson to school in the morning at 7:30. He said yes. Carson and I made a card for Linda's birthday tomorrow.
Thursday, February 29, 2024
Power went out this morning. Derek didn't show up to bring Carson to school like he said he would the night before. Argued with Derek about returning the generator. I brought Trey lunch at work. Worked 4-9. I texted Derek and asked if he would bring Carson to school in the morning, he responded that he would.
Friday, March 1st, 2024
Derek didn't show up to bring Carson to school. I bought hay after I dropped Carson off. Quiet day. Worked 4-9. Trey came over and stayed the night after the kids went to bed.
Saturday, March 2, 2024
Sunday, March 3, 2024
Monday, March 4, 2024
Tuesday, March 5, 2024
Wednesday, March 6, 2024
Thursday, March 7, 2024
Derek was supposed to pick Carson up for school at 730 this morning. He pulled in at 7:47, but by that time I had already left to bring him. While here, he found Trey's car here. This upset him and he immediately sent Trey a message to try to start an argument between us.
I had the day off. Did laundry, cleaned up a bit, fixed the dog's fence. The animal control officer picked the dogs up because they had gotten loose again through the broken fence. He gave me information on getting help with food and housing for them if needed until Derek can either help me pay for and care for them, or take them to where he is living now.
I texted Derek and told him if he could get here by 730 am that he should bring Carson to school. He didn't respond.
Friday, March 8, 2024
I brought Carson to school at 8am. Went to the post office to mail assistance application. Updated my expense logs. Derek sent me a Facebook real about the Simpsons. Did not acknowledge my previous text regarding bringing Carson to school.
Saturday, March 9, 2024
I slept in, sick all day. Derek texted me asking to meet for lunch with the kids, but I didn't get it until 1:05pm when I responded. He said he had to work soon. (4pm) He ignored my texts after his last text at 1:29. at 3:25 I asked if I could pick up a pizza from him for the kids before I dropped them off at my parents house. He agreed. He asked me to run to Dunkin' for him since he was running late to work and it would give him time to make them their pizza. I agreed. I got to him at at 4:20. Picked up the pizza, he said hi to the kids and said that he would pick Carson up for school everyday. I left from there and dropped them off at my parents. I worked 5-9:30p. The weather was terrible when I got out so my mom asked to keep the kids overnight. I agreed since I swill wasn't feeling well.
Sunday, March 10, 2024
Derek and I talked about bringing Carson snowboarding today. He showed up at the house at 8am. I was still sick and slept in before going to pick them up around noon. I had told Derek the day before I didn't know how I would be feeling and wasn't sure I would be able to snowboard. Trey's car was in the driveway when he got to the house and that made him angry. I texted him back at 12:08 letting him know that I couldn't snowboard but to come grab the kids if he wanted to see them. He texted me back at 2:06 that he picked up a shift since I couldn't snowboard and he was at work. He texted me at 12:41am asking which days I wanted him to pick Carson up for school this week. I reminded him that he had told me he would pick him up everyday.
Monday, March 11, 2024
Derek did not show up to pick Carson up for school, or send a text cancelling. At 1:16pm he send me a link to a cover song. He knows music speaks to me, especially cover songs. His first texts of the day are often links to songs he knows I would enjoy. Quiet day, I was still not feeling 100%. Head cold, nausea, aches and chills.
Tuesday, March 12, 2024
6:48am Derek sent me a text asking if I was "letting him pick Carson up this morning." I woke up late and texted back at 7:52 that he could pick him up is he wanted to. I didn't realize that he was already in the driveway. Security cameras show him pulling in at 7:26. He didn't attempt to come into the house, but was texting me which I didn't see until I texted back at 7:52 when I was ready to leave to bring Carson to school. I sent Carson out to ride to school with Derek. After leaving with Carson, Derek texted me to give me grief about Carson's teeth not being brushed well enough, and because he hadn't had a chance to eat anything before school. Carson rarely wants to eat anything in the morning before school, and in the chaos from rushing around because I woke up late, he wouldn't have had the chance to eat. Understandably Carson left the house in an anxious state after having to rush to get ready. When Carson got home, I apologized to him for being short with him this morning. I've always felt it was important for parents to admit to their children when they are wrong, and to apologize when necessary. It shows them the human side of their parents, and. by example, it teaches them to how to take accountability. I was feeling better, caught up on house work, but still not up for dirtying the kitchen after catching up, so we got take out for dinner. I gave the kids baths and then before bed, we finished watching the movie we had started the night before. Kids were asleep by 9pm.
Wednesday, March 13, 2024
Derek showed up at 7:49 to pick Carson up. He texted me at 7:19am saying he was pulled over and held up. I left to bring Carson to school at 7:45am. This is the latest I can leave to bring Carson to school to ensure he makes it on time. I offered him to wait and take or see Chase. He did not respond to the offer. He sent multiple texts claiming I am not allowing him to bring Carson to school maliciously and that I "will see." He uses phrases like this as a form of psychological abuse to trigger fear and anxiety in me. Quiet day other than that so far. Updating my electronic log from my paper notes I keep in regards to parenting with Derek on a day to day basis.
Thursday, March 14, 2024
Derek did not attempt to pick Carson up for school. We met at the airport and had a picnic lunch I packed with Chase. We planned to meet at 12. I was running late and asked him to meet me at 1230 instead. He agreed. He showed up at 1pm. During lunch he started giving me grief for "not being allowed to see the kids." I told him that I had nothing to do with that and asked him why he blocks me regularly after I respond with visit plans. He said "Oh come on, as if you don't know how to get ahold of me with a fake number." I said that I would prefer to not have to waste my time downloading apps and making accounts to be able to reach him about the kids. After lunch, we went to the bookstore and picked out a couple new books for Carson. After that, we drove separately and met at the school to pick Carson up at 230. We both were scheduled to work at 4. I asked him if he wanted to take them to the playground for an hour to hang out, but he said he couldn't because he did not come prepared with the right shoes for work, and needed to grab a belt. He saw Carson for about 10 minutes before we left the school. In that time, he made many passive aggressive comments in front of the kids insinuating that I keep our kids from him. Derek was excited when I said that tomorrow was a half day and that we could (or he could) pick Carson up from school and spend a few hours with them before he had to work at 4. He agreed and told Carson he couldn't wait to hang out. Carson and I shot his BB gun for a bit before I had to bring them to my parents house. I left work at 8 and picked the kids up. I read 2 chapters of Carson's new book to him before tucking him in and going to bed.
Friday, March 15, 2024
Derek showed up to pick Carson up for school at 7:34 this morning. Yesterday he told me that he would prefer to only pick Carson up after school so he could spend the morning moving into his new housing. I agreed, so I wasn't expecting him at all this morning. Unfortunately I overslept and woke up with a migraine. The spring weather does this to me.. He did not attempt to knock or come into the house. (see text correspondence below). I dropped Carson off at school, then went home and spent an hour playing with Chase. Practicing letters, numbers, and doing a floor puzzle. I cleaned up a bit, then went to grab Carson at the bus stop at 1230. Derek did not show up or communicate about hanging out with the kids before his scheduled shift at 4 as planned yesterday. I dropped the kids off with my parents at 330 and went to work.
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